Dear Clara- a poem

Dear Clara,

 We know what your talents are

We know you love the arts

We know there are two published novels to your name

We know you taught yourself a foreign language

We know you run a blog

We know you can leave your heart on the stage

We know your dream is to be a full-time author


We know you hate math

We know you hate science

We know you won’t ever need to know the Quadratic Formula

We know you don’t need to know about Saturn’s rings

Or the mitochondria, or logarithms, or matrices

We know you’ll have to do taxes and manage your finances

We know math isn’t your gift

We know science will never be your career


But your talents aren’t enough

Your art isn’t enough

You have to be good at math,

You have to be good at science

You have to know the Quadratic Formula to get into college

Sure, you’ll have to pay taxes

But you can figure that out on your own

While instead of teaching life skills,

We teach you about the cell

Instead of furthering your talents

We’re going to suppress them

Make you learn algebra instead of how to improve your novel

Make you know the mass of Jupiter instead of how to write for the theater


And here’s a test that we make everyone take

Same questions, same judgment

We know no two brains are the same

But we’ll judge them all on one test

One test that doesn’t really tell us who you are

It tells us how well you’ll submit to our oppression

How well you’ll study the things we want you to know

Instead of the things that will make you a better artist, a better person


So what we’re demanding

Is that you put away your writing, your blogging, your language learning

Take a break from the stage, although it keeps you sane

Put your life away, put us above your mental health

Stress yourself out studying for the things you hate

Because if you can’t solve equations

Or explain science you don’t even believe in

Clara, dear, you will never be good enough.



The School System


Ordinarily I would never ask you to share my posts. But if you feel like I do– if you feel as though this poem of mine is a reflection of your own thoughts– please share this.

I want to do something about the oppressive American school system, and writing is my method. I don’t even write poetry, but I thought this was the best way to get these words on paper.

So if you understand exactly what I feel, if you too want to do something to change the school system in America, please don’t hesitate to share this poem to whatever social media you choose.

Thank you.



The Grisha Trilogy, or the fandom I have now plunged into head-first

I did it. I read The Grisha Trilogy.

I’ve been wanting to read Leigh Bardugo’s books for a long time but just got around to it last week. I started Shadow and Bone last Saturday or so and I finished Ruin and Rising today. As I write this, Six of Crows is beside me, waiting to be read.

In short, I am officially a fan of Leigh Bardugo.

Non-Spoiler, Very Brief Series Review:

For starters, I absolutely adore her characters. If you’ve been here long, you probably know by now that characters are the single most important thing in a book for me personally. Bardugo did not disappoint. Alina is awesome; her development felt natural and was handled very well. Nikolai is honestly my favorite character I’ve read in a long time and you bet I’ll be reading King of Scars just because I’m mildly in love with him. And I’ll admit it, I might be just slightly in love with the Darkling, despite everything he did. I liked Mal, too, but not as much as I did the others.

Bardugo’s plot was fascinating and she beautifully executed the politics that came with it, especially in books 2 and 3, and her world building is magnificent. Ravka is the most excellently crafted world I’ve read since the InkHeart Trilogy.

As wonderful as the trilogy is (if you haven’t read it you really should), I really didn’t like the ending. I can’t say too much about it without spoilers, but it did frustrate me in more ways than one.

However, as a whole, The Grisha Trilogy is worth a read. It’s fast-paced and none of them get crazy long if that’s a concern for you.

Shadow and Bone– 5 stars

Siege and Storm– 5 stars

Ruin and Rising– 4 stars

Spoilery Stuff:

As much as I hate the Darkling at moments I am not going to deny that he is extremely interesting and, to an unfortunate degree, attractive.

But Nikolai is the man. He is actually Jack Sparrow but 10000x better. I love him.

But the ending? The romance part of the ending? No. Just no. To be honest, that’s what bothered me the most. Mal and Alina had far less chemistry than Nikolina or even Alarkling, so the fact that they ended up together doesn’t sit real well with me. It was too obvious and just a bit boring to me.

I also think Mal was very conveniently resurrected without a decent explanation- to my knowledge, Corporalnik can’t raise people from the dead yet it somehow happened with Mal? It just really didn’t work for me– if he was going to die he needed to stay dead. And I say that as someone who didn’t want him to die at all.

I was hoping Nikolina would happen in King of Scars before I finished Ruin and Rising but alas, I have no hope of that.

But despite the ending, this series was amazing and I am so excited to read Leigh’s other books!


Have you read The Grisha Trilogy? What do you think? 


Books I’ve Been Reading… Since it’s been a while since I talked about actual reading on my book blog.

Hi, my name is Clara and I run a book blog that has completely forgotten to talk about reading books.

have been reading lately, I promise– I just haven’t fallen in love with a lot of books and have taken a long time to read quite a few of them. If they even managed to catch my attention in the first place.

But. There have been 2 books this year that I have downright adored, so that’s something.

So far, in 2019, I have completed 6 books and 1 novella. Not bad, actually. Here they are, with a little bit about what I thought:

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

Ah, Christian fiction. I do not usually care all that much for it. I say that as a Christian girl myself…sometimes I feel bad about not liking it but I just feel like it’s of a poorer quality in terms of writing.

Redeeming Love was good; I rated it 4 stars. It’s decent; it’s proof that you can still write Christian fiction and talk about sex (I’m looking at you, Melanie Dickerson), and I did definitely appreciate that Francine did not sugar coat the fact that the main character was a prostitute. I just have a great appreciation for bluntness, okay?

However, the writing was slightly awkward at times. It was just a style thing, I think– again, I just don’t care much for the writing in Christian fiction so it may just be me as a reader.

Kinda-sorta-not-really spoiler:

I also feel like Michael very suddenly went from “this woman is a headache and I have no clue how I’m ever going to deal with her” to “Angel I love you” and that is still driving me crazy. Where was the actual development? I didn’t find it.

End spoiler.

The Wicked King by Holly Black

*endless screaming*

5 stars. I felt betrayed and didn’t touch the stupid thing for an hour after finishing. That is all you need to know.

The Lost Sisters by Holly Black (novella)

I actually forgot I read this, but apparently I rated it 4 stars. It was a nice, quick afternoon read, but nothing really special.

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson

So. We have established in posts past that I have a deep love for arranged marriage stories. My friend suggested this because the main character has an arranged marriage, and I got super excited because character development potential was everywhere. 

Aaaaaannnnndddd it went in a completely different, extremely disappointing direction. However, Elisa delivered in the character development department so I gave it 3 stars.

Ranty spoilers below:
So the romance, right? Elisa gets married at the beginning. Great. Alejandro seems like a super attractive man with tons of potential as a character and a love interest.

Nope. We get Humberto, who was great, but then of course he died. So I got excited because there are two more books in this series to make Alejandro a strong character (he is established as a weak king, etc. and you can’t tell me he couldn’t have changed throughout the series) and he and Elisa could fall in love.

Nope. Alejandro dies and I was angry for the next three days and I still get mad thinking about it.

I won’t be finishing the series.

End ranty spoilers.

Courting Darkness by Robin LaFevers

4 stars, because it got really good, but it took a long time to get really good.

I was also a bit confused because it was my first LaFevers book ever. The lore/gods/magic/etc. was a bit confusing.

However, it was good in the end and I plan on finishing the duology. And I really love Maraud.

I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You by Ally Carter

So. Much. Fun.

I’m telling you, I laughed so much reading this book and I can’t wait to get around to the rest of the series. 4 stars.

A Curse so Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

I actually hadn’t planned on reading this as I wasn’t particularly intrigued by the summary, but I am so glad I gave it a chance! 5 stars.

I loved the romance, the adventure, everything.

So that’s it! All 6.5 books I’ve read so far this year and what I thought about all of them.

What books have you been enjoying this year? Any you completely hated?




So…I Finished My Rough Draft

So in the month that it’s been since I last posted (I have lacked blogging inspiration on an extreme level lately), I finished my rough draft of The Nikolai Project. No, it doesn’t have a title yet. Still.

Anyway, it came in at just slightly under 57,500 words. It’s going to be longer in editing- there were multiple times I just kind of skipped sections of the story because I didn’t want to write them at that moment, so I’ll have to expand on all of that.

It’s an odd feeling, being done with my draft. I started thinking about this project in at least July 2017. It’s been a year and half I’ve spent with these people inhabiting my brain. So to be done with the draft, to take a long break from it, is kind of terrifying to think about. Because I really don’t want to be done with this draft. Nikolai and Amira have become second nature to me– I don’t think I’ve ever known any of my characters as intimately as I know them and no story has developed so naturally. But if I were to keep drafting, there wouldn’t be any more of their particular storyline.

That said, there is going to be a sequel. I was trying to avoid that, but I believe I’m going to have a duology. The sequel will not be about Nikolai and Amira, although they will certainly have a role to play.

But. I am not writing the sequel yet, although it’s (extremely) tempting.

I have started the sequel (and conclusion to the trilogy) to Lady Gwen. I hope this draft won’t take long and I don’t intend for it to. I’ll be working hard on it as I have a lot to figure out.

After I’ve drafted that, I’ll do a round of edits for TNP and then finish/publish the conclusion to my trilogy (yay!).

So that’s an update on my writing life for you.

If you’ve finished a rough draft of a beloved story, how did you deal with it?


50 Things That Make Me Happy Tag!

Ann tagged me to do the 50 Things That Make Me Happy Tag, in which I list 50 things that make me happy.

  1. Jesus
  2. My family
  3. My friends
  4. The Nikolai Project
  5. The characters in The Nikolai Project
  6. Amirkolai, the main ship in The Nikolai Project
  7. The Gwendolyn Trilogy, even though it makes me frustrated a lot. 😉
  8. My French fairytales class
  9. French as a whole
  10. Zaho
  11. Charlie Boisseau
  12. Florent Mothe
  13. French musicals
  14. Makeup
  15. Red lipstick
  16. Notebooks
  17. Kathleenlights
  18. Tati
  19. Tiramisu
  20. Macarons
  21. Café au lait
  22. Black coffee
  23. Cappuccinos
  24. Lattes
  25. Film scores
  26. Playing the piano
  27. Fur Elise
  28. This mug my friend got me that has pictures of me and my friends on it
  29. Earl Grey
  30. Skincare. All of it.
  31. Beauty and the Beast
  32. Disney
  33. Thor
  34. Marvel
  35. Watching chick flicks at 2am
  36. Tangled (I watched this on my birthday and I cried. I actually cried.)
  37. Being a Hufflepuff
  38. Pinterest
  39. Carswell Thorne
  40. Roshani Chokshi
  41. Brendan Reichs
  42. Prince Cardan Greenbriar of Elfhame (although we are having a rough patch in our relationship right now because he made a really stupid decision but we’re not gonna talk about that)
  43. BEN. SOLO. (my child)
  44. Dorian Havilliard (he is my child and you can’t make me change my mind)
  45. Hot showers
  46. New sheet music
  47. Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina
  48. I Love Lucy
  49. Red roses

I am tagging everyone who reads this: pause, pull out a piece of paper, and write down 50 things that make you happy/that you’re thankful for. It will make your day 10x better.



2019 Reading/Writing Goals

It is January 12th. Already.

So…my 2019 has already been very interesting. I won’t go into details, but it’s been both amazing and difficult.

That said, I have some books I’d like to read this year specifically and some writing goals that I want to share with you all here. I am not including any books I put in my Anticipated 2019 Releases post.

Books to Read:

  • The Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo: I have been wanting to read this for a while and I think I am finally going to do it.
  • The Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo: Same as above.
  • Courting Darkness by Robin LaFevers: I received an ARC of this and am currently reading it.
  • The other books I got at YALLFest: There were a bunch that I have yet to read; if you’d like to know what all of them are you can read about them here.
  • Emma by Jane Austen: I need to read more Jane Austen because I always LOVE her books.
  • Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody: I got this for my birthday, have started a little bit of it, and I am so excited to continue!
  • Go Teen Writers: Edit Your Novel by Jill Williamson and Stephanie Morrill: Another birthday gift, and seeing as I’ll be editing soon it’s going to be very useful.
  • Aru Shah and the End of Time by Roshani Chokshi: I’ve been wanting to read this because hello, it’s Roshani Chokshi, and I received it for my birthday as well.

My Goodreads goal is 50 books, and obviously this list isn’t that long, but I am a mood reader through and through.

Writing Goals:

  • Finish my draft of The Nikolai Project
  • Come up with a title for The Nikolai Project
  • Write and edit the third book in my Gwendolyn Trilogy
  • Possibly, depending on Gwen, start editing TNP

This is a shorter post, but I always like to share my goals for the year.

What books are you hoping to read this year? If you write, what are your writing goals?

Love you all,


Best Books of 2018

I am writing this after pulling an all-nighter for the first time in my life, but I have fortunately slept since then. Hopefully this will be mostly coherent.

For starters, happy new year! I hope you have a wonderful 2019.

I had intended, repeatedly, to write this during what we’ll all now be calling “last year,” as I normally do, but on top of all the holiday craze my mom and I have been planning my birthday party.

As a whole, I didn’t read a lot this year (I barely managed to make my goal of 40 books). I think it was just harder to get into books this year–as I learn more about writing, I am a much pickier reader. I also had a lot of moments when I really didn’t want to read, which made me uncomfortable, but I realized that sometimes I just don’t want to read, and that’s okay.

But most of the books I read this year I really loved. So while I read less, most of what I did read was amazing.

Without further adieu…

The Last Jedi by Jason Fry

The movie The Last Jedi made me fall in love with Star Wars again, and of course I had to read the novelization. It was certainly worth reading, and I usually don’t enjoy movie novelizations (that said, I haven’t read many). If you’re a Reylo shipper and you haven’t read this, you should. You won’t regret it.

French Women don’t Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano

Or, as it is affectionately called around my house due to my mom confusing the title, Fat Women don’t Get French. A good nonfiction book about eating right without depriving yourself of things like bread and chocolate. It’s also full of recipes that sound absolutely fabulous, plus it’s about French culture.

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

This one has stood out since I read it in January. It’s a good, mostly character-driven fae novel, with a love interest I loved very much.

The Darkdeep by Ally Condie and Brendan Reichs 

This one deserves a spot on this list simply because it’s the first MG novel I’ve enjoyed in what feels like forever. It’s also marvelously entertaining.

Grim Lovelies by Megan Shepherd

Paris. Magic. A scene set in a giant fashion store (that is real, and I going there one day). A dark brooding prince who’s one-half of what is possibly one of the most interesting ships in the world. There was no way I wasn’t going to love this.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton

This book is extremely relevant to today’s culture, and that’s part of why I loved it so much. In addition, I enjoyed the characters a lot along with the political intrigue, and I expect some plot points in the sequel that I know I will love.

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

I read this a couple weeks ago and I LOVED it. I read it in two days. It was very fast paced, had lots of political intrigue, and Theodosia is amazing.

Archenemies by Marissa Meyer

Okay, so Renegades was a little bit disappointing, but THIS BOOK. I can’t say much without spoilers, but it’s amazing and I can’t wait for the conclusion to the trilogy.

Queen of Shadows by Sarah J. Maas

I could really put any book in the Throne of Glass series after Crown of Midnight on this list. While I definitely don’t agree with all of the content of this series, especially in Empire of Storms, I would be lying if I didn’t say this is one of the best series I’ve ever read (please no Kingdom of Ash spoilers in the comments).

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

I am not the only one who loved this book, and for good reason. It’s beautifully written, with fascinating, less-than-perfect characters, and the plot was enthralling. The Wicked King is definitely one of my most anticipated reads of 2019.

It was a year full of good books, for sure. I hope there are just as many wonderful books in 2019, and that you have a great year of reading and otherwise.

What was the best book you read in 2018? 



Anticipated 2019 Releases!

As I sit here with a giant stack of unread books in my room that are calling my name, I’m going to share the books I am most excited about that are releasing next year. The TBR pile is endless.

But in all seriousness, there are so many books coming out next year that I cannot wait to get my hands on.

The Wicked King by Holly Black (January 8th)

The Cruel Prince remains one of the best books I read this year- it had politics, fae, and the promise of a haters-to-lovers romance. Obviously I am ready for the sequel.

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (January 15th)

This is my most anticipated release by far, because it’s ROSHANI CHOKSHI. Everything I’ve read of hers has blown me away and I’m sure this is going to be just as amazing.

Stain by A.G. Howard (January 15th)

I read a chapter sampler of this and I want the rest. That is all.

Four Dead Queens by Astrid Scholte (February 26th)

I heard about this at YALLFest and the title alone is enough to make me want to read this.

Lovely War by Julie Berry (March 5th)

I adored Julie’s The Passion of Dolssa (if you haven’t read it, you should, but be prepared for an emotional roller coaster). This one is a love story set amidst both World Wars and it’s told from the perspective of the goddess Aphrodite.

Sherwood by Meagan Spooner (March 29th)

I just found out about this as I write this post and it’s a ROBIN HOOD RETELLING. YES. It’s also Meagan Spooner, who has some beautiful prose.

Midnight Beauties by Megan Shepherd (August 13th)

I will be trying to get an ARC of this if possible, because August is too far away. Grim Lovelies was magnificent.

Also, from the synopsis, I think there’s going to be an arranged marriage. Therefore I need it.

Renegades #3 (we do not yet have an official title) by Marissa Meyer (November 5th)

I am reading Archenemies right now and IT’S AMAZING. Renegades was a bit of a letdown but I am loving book two in the series and expect a major cliffhanger.

That’s it so far, but I’m sure there are a bunch of others I just haven’t discovered yet.

(I did not include any ARCs I received at YALLFest in this list, even though I am excited to read many of them.)

What books are you looking forward to in 2019?



Arranged Marriage in Fiction: A Discussion

Periodically, I like to do discussion posts.

I haven’t in a while, because, while I love them, I struggle to come up with ideas that haven’t been done before (or at the very least, haven’t been done in a while).

Last week, I published a NaNoWriMo post and briefly mentioned that I love arranged marriage stories. Alan Zaroff asked me why, which led to a few comments on the subject. I thought it might be interesting to do a discussion post about it.

If you’re new here, I absolutely love arranged marriage in books. I’m not entirely sure why, when I personally do not ever want my marriage to be arranged, but I have always been fascinated by the concept of falling in love after marriage.

Here’s the thing: As someone who is so intrigued by the concept, I’d really like to read about it. However, I can name exactly 2 novels (okay, so one is a series) off the top of my head involving love-after-marriage. And very few books, even political fantasy novels that I’ve read, have arranged marriage as a part of a plot, whether or not it actually happens.

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge is a Beauty and the Beast retelling that executes the arranged marriage trope rather well. It’s not a personal favorite, but I did enjoy it.

Morgan Rhodes’ Falling Kingdoms series did it very well– although, to be completely honest, after book one, the arranged marriage development was about the only thing I enjoyed about the series. I still haven’t read the last two books.

What bothers me is that even these two books at first act as though arranged marriage is a horrible tragedy, etc. (I will say that, given who the characters are marrying, it makes sense that they’re opposed–but I’d also like some books where the man the girl is marrying isn’t a demon or seemingly horrible enemy prince.) And that’s the case with pretty much every book that mentions arranged marriage in some way. It’s often treated as a violation of human rights, the worst thing that could happen to a character, all that.

Please don’t misunderstand me: I know very well that sometimes arranged marriage is forced and a basic human rights violation, especially child marriage. Aisha Saeed’s Written in the Stars is a good one that illustrates this point, and I love that book.

However, in 2017, the average percent of arranged marriages that ended in divorce was only 4% ( (I am aware that this article shows the dark side of arranged marriage, which is definitely important to consider.) According to the American Psychological Association, “40-50% of married couples in the United States divorce.” In America, love marriage is the most common. Love marriages aren’t bad– I want one myself. What I’m saying is that, in reality, arranged marriages aren’t as bad as they’re made out to be in the books we read.

Repeatedly, arranged marriages end up as happy marriages. My parents know people who are in arranged marriages and are very happy. This article (please excuse the curse word) shares other stories about arranged marriages that have worked out well.

I am not going to sit here and tell you that every single arranged marriage is wonderful and perfect. What I am going to tell you is that it needs to be presented differently and a little more often in books. Because, in reality, lots of people in the world are in arranged marriages. 55% of marriages are arranged, actually (

I would really appreciate more books, YA novels especially, that involve arranged marriage that isn’t treated like a tragedy. In all genres.

I’m trying to do this with my current writing project. I’ve been guilty of treating arranged marriage as horrible at first in my books, but it works out well in the end. What I’m writing now, The Nikolai Project (here’s my NaNoWriMo post about it), is, at its core, about an arranged marriage. It’s got politics and magic, of course, but it centers around two people falling in love– after the wedding.

If any of you have ever wondered why in the world arranged marriage plots are one of my favorite things, I hope this answers your question at least a little bit.

I want to hear your thoughts on this topic–let’s discuss in the comments!




November Reading Wrap-Up

I am so excited that I am finally reading again. Lately I haven’t been reading all that much (nothing could hold my attention very well? At all?) but this month I read a few books that I really loved.

The Darkdeep by Ally Condie and Brendan Reichs (aka my besties)

Okay, MG has not been able to hold my interest in forever but I 100% adored this book. It’s amazing and you should go read it if you haven’t. Also, Brendan and Ally are both amazing people. 5 stars for this one!

Grim Lovelies by Megan Shepherd

Also 5 stars– because this is set in a magical Paris, has a dark brooding prince that I LOVE, a main character that’s amazing, and a scene set in the most amazing fashion boutique ever that also references a lot of designers (which is always great).

Bookish Boyfriends: A Date with Darcy by Tiffany Schmidt

This was SO CUTE. The best part was when the main character was reading Pride and Prejudice and was having the exact same feelings I was when I read that beautiful Jane Austen novel.

There were, however, a few things I thought weren’t explained enough, so all-in-all, I gave this 4 stars.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton

THIS. BOOK. It was amazing- from the world to the characters to the clothes (I really, really appreciate pretty clothes in books). And the plot twist at the end? Perfect. And it looks like the sequel is going to have the pretending-to-be-married trope which is actually one of my favorite things. This one was also 5 stars, if you couldn’t tell.

I am currently reading In Paris With You by Clementine Beauvais, an ARC I received at YALLFest, but I may end up putting it on hold. I’m not exactly feeling the poetry thing.

What did you read in November?